Hey, Tumblr. I have been given the all-clear to reprint my essay about Michael Jordan: Chaos In the Windy City that originally appeared in The Classical's digital magazine. You should still subscribe to it, though. In a life fraught with daily, almost constant regrets, not once have I second-guessed my decision to subscribe. Plus @weedguy420boner and @mobute have pieces in the same issue as mine, and everyone likes those guys.
This installment of Lemon Ice Forever Saving Publishing comes courtesy of Andy Sturdevant. Andy is no stranger to being paid to write, having recently published his first book, Potluck Supper With Meeting To Follow, just last month. Not long after PSWMTF’s release, I had the privilege of putting down an overrated book of Ted Chiang’s nerd-power fantasies disguised as science fiction short stories in favor of Andy’s boundlessly charming cubist portrait of Minneapolis, his adopted hometown.
Andy’s book contains, among other things, a nostalgic tale of a moment of quiet reflection in a doomed romance. The tale is set in a dive bar and prominently features a Roxy Music song. If you know me well at all, I don’t need to go on about how much I enjoyed it. If you don’t know me well at all: Cf. nostalgia, Roxy Music, dive bars, and doomed romance.
Andy agreed to write a piece driven by the point of view of a character whose entire worldview is informed by the fact that he or she thinks Pink Floyd were superior to The Beatles. He did so with what I would describe as as a characteristic midwestern gusto. Unlike his Minnesota Twins, however, he managed to knock it out of the park, even going so far as to reference 102.1 WAQY (“Springfield’s [guitar riff] classic rock”), my childhood classic rock station.
Click through, and read the heck out of it.
I am accepting pitches for Lemon Ice Forever. I pay.
Pitches can be submitted via email, or phone call if you can get my phone number (Pitching by phone seems hilarious. Email me for my phone number). I will run pretty much anything if the pitch is accepted and I think you’re cool. The payment is ten dollars, with no word count or format requirement whatsoever. As an added bonus, I will purchase you the alcoholic beverage (or snack, for the rare non-drunks in my social universe) of your choice (valued at 10 dollars or less, unless your choice is really funny) next time we see each other in person. Because this is the 2013-era husk of a publishing industry, there is also a five-dollar traffic bonus that is also redeemable as an alcoholic beverage or snack of my choice. I barely understand what a traffic bonus is, so if a writer convinces me that it is warranted, it will likely be granted. I’ll probably go with one of these a week. Who knows.
The first installment of Lemon Ice Forever Saving Publishing comes from my good friend Audrey Mardavich, who is a stewardess of the relevant Boston literary community and a wonderful poet in her own right. When Audrey introduced me to read at her reading series, she mentioned that, over the years we have known one another, she and I have shared a completely unaccountable number of plates of nachos. That seems worth mentioning as well. Today is her boyfriend Mitch’s birthday. Happy birthday, Mitch.
Earlier this morning, Audrey started talking about watching the 2007 film Into the Wild, and I offered her money for a full-length exploration of her thoughts. Lemon Ice Forever Saving Publishing was born.
Click through to read Audrey’s review of a six year-old movie most interested parties have already seen: